This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
