i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
