hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
