If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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