im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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