no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
