I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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