She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
