My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Text me some of your sweat
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
