Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
