this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
