2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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