Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
