Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
