It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
