Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
