I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
