you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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