I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
