He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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