Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
