Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
