I CAN MOONWALK!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
