does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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