i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
