There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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