what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
