its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
