If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
