where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
