Just fell off a train. Bad.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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