it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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