hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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