Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
