You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
