Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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