I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
