the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
