Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
