he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
