Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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