I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
