his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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