i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
