Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
