Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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