I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
