The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
