What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
