It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
