If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And then my night got REAL pukey
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
