ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
