She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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