well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
