break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
